^{and why did he continue to go out of his way to help her?}

^{there’s something different about him. but she’s a little high & a little drunk & her judgment isn’t the best. there’s a stall in the code, apparently. according to whiterose. now all they can do is   w a i t.   for now, though, she’s just quietly amused as she looks at him. her cheeks warming when she sees his smirk. it makes her swallow as she tries to regain control of her own faculties, breathing in slowly now. it’s less about the smirk & more about the fact that he’s the one smirking. this only happens sometimes, so contradictory to the boy she knows. his ego superimposed to make him more than the young boy that’s scared of everything. & yet she knows this part, too. oddly familiar, in bursts of anger, mistrust, & bitter alienation. & yet she loves him. loves this part. all parts. if only he’d let her.}

she wants to know what she’s done wrong so she can fix it. 

^{he gets closer now & she meets his eyes with her own, cheeks darkening in their pinked hue. she stalls. “you really don’t know?” she says with a tinge of hurt forming her words, accusatory alto. the sadness billows over her features. how could he not? there’s an ocean of emotional longing between her & him. like a gulf that she’s not allowed to cross anymore. ( what did i do wrong? why is this happening? ) & she’s drowning. a strand of blonde sticks to her bottom glossed tier. she feels foreign in this pant suit, even though it makes her feel like she can kill just about anyone & never feel a thing.}

^{but that’s not her right now. she wants to feel real.}

                ^{“…after mom died,” comes the soft whisper. & maybe this is a little too real. “you were the only thing that kept me going.” her lips part further, nose prickling with unshed emotion. ( a whispered: i need you behind her words ). her lips stay parted but no words come out.}

^{that’s why.}

@heykiiddo​ // sc.