You tell yourself that you’re not lonely,
you tell yourself that you’re just fine
and yet,
You find yourself clinging to the legs of a kitchen table
like a child, hiding beneath a tablecloth like you once did
in the folds of your mother’s red dress
You find yourself trying to adjust the arms of your chair,
trying to move them this way and that but they can never
hug you tight enough
You find yourself falling apart in the hands of a clock
at midnight but these hands keep moving and you
can never catch up
You find yourself on your knees at the mouth of a river,
gulping handfuls of dirty water as if this is your oasis
and you cannot stop drinking
You tell yourself that you’re not lonely
and yet, and yet